Deep In The Heart Of Gist
So the other day this guy from the depths of the ocean just drags himself out of the water and walks up to the Gist mill. So I go out onto the porch to greet him. And how does he say hello? By taking out some gold from his pocket and giving it to me! I was all like, "Where did you get that gold?!" And he was all, "Look, you want the gold or not? 'Cause I don't have all day. I just need to get rid of this before the pirates come looking for it."
Because it turned out that this mermaid guy, this gold-giver, stole the gold from a surly band of meta-pirates. The "meta" implies that they hold some kind of transcendence, which indeed they do. Pirates are rare in this day and age. I mean, sure, there are MP3 pirates and other file sharers, but they don't possess the sheer greatness of the bloodthirsty barons of the sea from the 17th century. I mean, back then they would demand a ransom of 50,000 pesos or they'd burn your city. And that's what they'd do to the good cities. The ones where royalty lived. If your city was poor, they probably wouldn't bother. I mean, would you? If you were a pirate?
I never did see that ocean guy again. I heard he got caught in a tuna net and sold in a bunch of cans. They do that, you know. With dolphins. And sea cows. They just capture them, because the oceanliners'll just end up hitting' them in the head and sinking them anyway. If you don't capture all the whales, where's the meat supposed to come from, eh? In Japan, they eat all parts of the whale. It's a delicacy there. Whale meat, more delicious than a thousand pounds of lobster. I hate lobster. Too many bones. What's that, Edmonde? No, I will not include you in this post! I hate you and everything you stand for, because you are a bad worker and you don't file your income taxes in a timely manner! What? I did? Curse your eyes, Edmonde!
Because it turned out that this mermaid guy, this gold-giver, stole the gold from a surly band of meta-pirates. The "meta" implies that they hold some kind of transcendence, which indeed they do. Pirates are rare in this day and age. I mean, sure, there are MP3 pirates and other file sharers, but they don't possess the sheer greatness of the bloodthirsty barons of the sea from the 17th century. I mean, back then they would demand a ransom of 50,000 pesos or they'd burn your city. And that's what they'd do to the good cities. The ones where royalty lived. If your city was poor, they probably wouldn't bother. I mean, would you? If you were a pirate?
I never did see that ocean guy again. I heard he got caught in a tuna net and sold in a bunch of cans. They do that, you know. With dolphins. And sea cows. They just capture them, because the oceanliners'll just end up hitting' them in the head and sinking them anyway. If you don't capture all the whales, where's the meat supposed to come from, eh? In Japan, they eat all parts of the whale. It's a delicacy there. Whale meat, more delicious than a thousand pounds of lobster. I hate lobster. Too many bones. What's that, Edmonde? No, I will not include you in this post! I hate you and everything you stand for, because you are a bad worker and you don't file your income taxes in a timely manner! What? I did? Curse your eyes, Edmonde!
--The Taker of Gist | 7:08 PM
6 broke it down:
I love lobster and I hate tuna . So I guess I'll never eat dat guy ! As a matter of fact I have never eat'n another human . I far as I know anyway . Cause sometimes I eat pig and some people say that's close .
That Sparkle is way hot ! Do ya think she's a guy ? Cause maybe I could eat that !
Johnny Depp stole those moves from me pappy. I must defend my family honor by challenging him to a bake-off this Sunday!
People are like leaves. They grow off trees, and turn yellow and red and brown in the autumn. Then they fall to the ground and turn into mulch. Such is the way of nature.
Did you take the gold? Coz if not I'll have it.
That gold is the property of the United States government. My taxes payed for that gold, and I aims to keep it that way. You see, gold is a byproduct of mercantilism, the practice of a colony being exploited for the benefit of the mother country. That's why places like New York and Pennsylvania aren't granted representation in the Mexican government.
You ever fully get that sticky web material off you? Probably turned it into gist. Never knew you were a baker...Colonel Gist.
I am not a colonel. I know a colonel, Colonel Chickenpox. But he isn't really a friend of mine. He was supposed to help me move, but he just showed up, ate some burgers, and wandered off before the truck arrived. Some friend he turned out to be!
Gist cannot be baked. Dangerous things happen when Gist is exposed to heat.
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