Happy Valentine's Day, You Fool!
This day is the day of St. Valentine's birth. Or maybe not. They didn't keep accurate records back then. For all we know, he was entombed on this date. They really did entomb people back then. Just look at that story, "Cask of Amontillado". That guy was totally entombed. It happens all the time. They would just look at you and say, "I don't like you. You have offended me! My family's honor demands vengeance!" And then they would grab you and put you in this thing and bury you in the ground.
But we live in a civilized time, these days. You can't just go around and bury people in caskets because they insult your family. These days, you've gotta go to their boss and say, "This guy was totally going through your desk while you were out sick yesterday." It's true. If you tell someone that their employee was rifling through their desk, that could get them fired. It's a question of privacy. You just don't want anyone going through your papers. It doesn't matter if you don't have anything on the big account, you just don't want anyone—such as Edmonde—going through your office without telling you. That guy was asking for it again.
Like I said before, I own a Gist mill. And Edmonde was at it again, going through my desk. I was all, "You don't work here anymore!" And he was all, "I don't care. This is where my father worked, and his father before him. But not my great grandfather. That guy worked on a farm in Kentucky." Then I snapped and melted Edmonde. Just like I did to Colonel Chickenpox. By the way, that Colonel turned out to be only a Captain. Like he could get away with that kind of misrepresentation! You don't go around impersonating a Colonel. Only Generals can do that, because they're superior in rank. They also drive tanks to work. That's why Edmonde will never be a Colonel; he doesn't know how to drive a tank. The fool.
But we live in a civilized time, these days. You can't just go around and bury people in caskets because they insult your family. These days, you've gotta go to their boss and say, "This guy was totally going through your desk while you were out sick yesterday." It's true. If you tell someone that their employee was rifling through their desk, that could get them fired. It's a question of privacy. You just don't want anyone going through your papers. It doesn't matter if you don't have anything on the big account, you just don't want anyone—such as Edmonde—going through your office without telling you. That guy was asking for it again.
Like I said before, I own a Gist mill. And Edmonde was at it again, going through my desk. I was all, "You don't work here anymore!" And he was all, "I don't care. This is where my father worked, and his father before him. But not my great grandfather. That guy worked on a farm in Kentucky." Then I snapped and melted Edmonde. Just like I did to Colonel Chickenpox. By the way, that Colonel turned out to be only a Captain. Like he could get away with that kind of misrepresentation! You don't go around impersonating a Colonel. Only Generals can do that, because they're superior in rank. They also drive tanks to work. That's why Edmonde will never be a Colonel; he doesn't know how to drive a tank. The fool.
--The Taker of Gist | 10:24 PM
9 broke it down:
sorry. i am lost. in australia it is *perfectly* acceptable to bury people you don't like. that's how we win at sport. truly.
That may be, but laws are laws. You can't, like, be elected for president more than twice. It's in the constitution.
And burying people isn't a constitutional law, but as a sociologist and a geologist and a gistologist, I'm against it.
And that's the Gist.
This is the greatest soap opera of our time.
I know, right?!
You've got a "Cask of Amontillado" fixation.
Now I know Edmonde, and let me tell you, he works hard for the money. He supports both his parents, and he has five kids. And you go and fire him? That's just wrong, man.
'Bout time you ousted Edmonde! OO Rah!
I take my Gist very seriously, and Edmonde was just holding the company back. With him out of the picture, we can concentrate on expanding the Gist mill out into the pristine forrest.
Because Gist and nature cannot coexist for more than a few days before rot sets in.
Could you please come to my work and tell on me ? I could collect poegey for a year and work under the table . Thanx Gist Taker !
All my employees work under the table.
Because they are albino, and would only be harmed by direct light.
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