Learning Annex

You can annex territories. You can annex museums. But can you annex your mind? That's the one thing I've never been able to find out in all the years I've spent taking the Gist of things. So I went down to the Learning Annex, looking for a good time. And boy, did I find it. They had a huge piñata full of candy! I remember running back and forth, trying to smack that thing out of the sky. Then we all ran to get the candy as if dropped to the ground. I refused to continue the fruitless endeavor. It just wasn't possible to get at the candy until after the three second rule had expired. Maybe in some twisted filth dimension the three second rule is extended to five or even ten seconds, but in this day and age, we take germs very seriously.

Not like back during the dark ages. Back then, you didn't take baths. You didn't wash your hands. If you got the plague, they'd throw you onto a pile of rotting compost and wait for the carrion birds to peck your eyes out. Unpleasant? You bet it was! I can't even count on one hand how many times I was mistaken for a plague victim and thrown into a pile of filth. But we don't live in such barbaric times, now, do we? No, we live in the future. Any day now, we'll all be driving flying cars and living above the clouds, relaxing as robotic butlers hand us the Sunday paper.

But can robot butlers really be trusted? I mean, in all the great plays throughout history, it's always the butler who done it. And in all the novels about robots, there's always the risk of a rebellion. So why would anyone want to combine the two most malevolent professions in all of civilization, butlery and robotics? That's like giving a spider monkey a lit candle and saying "Don't set fire to your arms." You just know they will! Not kosher at all.