Kitty Litter Reborn

So how many pounds of kitty litter does it take to rule the world? I only ask because about a ton of it fell out of the sky and onto my car. Seriously, why would a ton of kitty litter fall from the sky? Who would believe me? All I was doing was minding my own business, which is a nice change of pace. So there I was. It was the middle of July. The sun was shining and it was raining cats and dogs. And kitty litter. Also, this guy parked next to me got hit in the head by a flying mailbox. Not the kind that you have outside your house that they put letters in, but the big kind they have outside post offices. This guy was just standing there, and a huge mailbox just knocks him over. He was all, like, "Help! Help me! Stop taking pictures!"

Because the whole time he was getting knocked over by that mailbox, I was busy pulling out my digital camera and taking pictures of his misery. What? Should I have helped him? Do I look like the miracle worker to you people?! I'm the Taker of Gist! It is not in any way, shape, or form, my duty to provide for the populace. I pay taxes for that kind of thing. And if you end up short in the lottery of life, well, you should just sit down and try your luck again. It's a little thing I like to call "reincarnation." Maybe you've heard of it?

So there I was, taking pictures of this guy under a mailbox. And there he was, screaming for help. That's when I started getting angry. I started to remember all the times I had been trapped under a mailbox, screaming in vain for help. Why should this guy I don't even know get help, when nobody would brave the winds to rescue me after I was pinned beneath an ice cream truck back in the 18^th century? It's not like it was that heavy to lift. This was the 18^th century! They didn't even bathe! I mean, what kind of society lets you get all trapped under the wheels of a machine that hasn't been invented yet?! I ask you. Anyway, turns out that guy was a robot with no soul, so it's a good thing I didn't save him. The fool.