Firefox
Internet Explorer is too old, they said. Security holes, and whatnot. A complete lack of tabbed browsing betrays a sadness in the behemoth's rendering engine, one that a mere facelift can't cure. Opera's a nice browser. Reminds me of swiss cheese, the way is tears apart my carefully constructed web pages with a flick of the wrist. "Switch to Firefox," Edmonde says. "Firefox is the future!" I scoff at him. "Opera," I tell him, "is a million times better than your precious Firefox. When our brave laser battalions were Taking Gist in the War of Roses, where was your Firefox then?!" He goes silent.
It's not that I have a grudge against Firefox... I just... the logo. Think about it, people! Firefox's main icon (indeed, its only icon) is a fox racing 'round the world. What does that say about anything?! Look at Opera: A big red letter "O," shimmering at the edges. And Internet Explorer, a fancy "E" with a ring in an elliptical orbit. Notice anything? Anyone? I'll tell you, since you obviously don't have the willpower to accept the inevitable. Letters. They're both linked by letters. Vowels, to be precise. It has been standard convention, since the founding of the Internet in 1993, to represent the venerable medium with vowels. Firefox breaks this convention, throwing civilized society into chaos, disrupting valuable company time and resources.
Until such time as Firefox, as well as the other "leech browsers" (I include Safari in this bunch) clean up their act and make it incumbent upon themselves to join the vowel-based community, I shun them. I shun them all! I absolutely refuse to change the way I do business to "make room" for their irresponsibilities. Now, I've worked for Mozilla for over 20 years, back when they were still a garage band. I'm sad to say, the name "Firefox" might have been my own doing. You see, the band was falling apart. Microsoft tore us up at the "Battle of the Bands" the previous week, and we were looking to go in a new direction. I said, "why not change that big, unwieldy lizard to something smaller?" They ate it up; two days later, they left a forty-foot fox on my front lawn. I was outraged, and ordered the police to burn it. Once the Mozilla roadies saw what I was doing, it hit them: Firefox. And for that, I truly apologize to Letter-Theory web enthusiasts. I don't expect to be forgiven, just forgotten.
It's not that I have a grudge against Firefox... I just... the logo. Think about it, people! Firefox's main icon (indeed, its only icon) is a fox racing 'round the world. What does that say about anything?! Look at Opera: A big red letter "O," shimmering at the edges. And Internet Explorer, a fancy "E" with a ring in an elliptical orbit. Notice anything? Anyone? I'll tell you, since you obviously don't have the willpower to accept the inevitable. Letters. They're both linked by letters. Vowels, to be precise. It has been standard convention, since the founding of the Internet in 1993, to represent the venerable medium with vowels. Firefox breaks this convention, throwing civilized society into chaos, disrupting valuable company time and resources.
Until such time as Firefox, as well as the other "leech browsers" (I include Safari in this bunch) clean up their act and make it incumbent upon themselves to join the vowel-based community, I shun them. I shun them all! I absolutely refuse to change the way I do business to "make room" for their irresponsibilities. Now, I've worked for Mozilla for over 20 years, back when they were still a garage band. I'm sad to say, the name "Firefox" might have been my own doing. You see, the band was falling apart. Microsoft tore us up at the "Battle of the Bands" the previous week, and we were looking to go in a new direction. I said, "why not change that big, unwieldy lizard to something smaller?" They ate it up; two days later, they left a forty-foot fox on my front lawn. I was outraged, and ordered the police to burn it. Once the Mozilla roadies saw what I was doing, it hit them: Firefox. And for that, I truly apologize to Letter-Theory web enthusiasts. I don't expect to be forgiven, just forgotten.
--The Taker of Gist | 5:51 PM
5 broke it down:
I just point and click . Who cares how ya get there ?
I agree with you about Firefox, but the Gist Explorer has bad graphics!
They all have conquering the world in common. At least that's what Al Gore says.
I've seem many a chicken, but none as astounding as that car you've got outside.
I mean, does it get more than 60 miles per kilometer?! I think not!
But... swan diving is illegal in many boroughs! The boroughs!
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