Technical Support
Hello! How may I help you? Okay, please hold one second... okay, I'm opening a new case file... so, how's the family? Really? Really? I'm sorry to hear that. No... sir, I'm going to have to ask you to stop crying. Sir? Sir, a new case file has been created. Can I have the model number, please? Yes, it's on the back of the casing... no... yes. Yes. No, I don't think I've ever been to Berlin. Is that where it happened?
Look, buddy, don't get snippy with me! I've worked this desk for over a hundred thousand years, supplying quality service to people a hundred thousand times better than you'll ever be. What?! No you... my boss? Fool! I have no boss! My only enemy is time. Now, if you're not willing to tell me the service tag on the fridge, I'm going to transfer you back to sales. Yeah, I will. I'll transfer you so fast it'll make your head spin. I have the power of transfer!
Don't believe me? Neither did Colonel Chickenpox. And look at him now, the big lout. Mopping up the walls over at the blood bank every Saturday... yeah, I know! The walls! Sometimes, when they hit an artery, it just... sprays all over the place. So they bring the old colonel in to clean up. Just like he cleaned up in the Great War. Yes... okay, I'm writing the service number down. Okay, have you performed the necessary hat dance? No? Look, I can't ship a replacement part until you do the hat dance. Okay, but after this I refuse to make another exception. You'll just have to take it up with management. The hat dance is a time-honored tradition! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm going to have to put you on hold. Buh-bye.
Look, buddy, don't get snippy with me! I've worked this desk for over a hundred thousand years, supplying quality service to people a hundred thousand times better than you'll ever be. What?! No you... my boss? Fool! I have no boss! My only enemy is time. Now, if you're not willing to tell me the service tag on the fridge, I'm going to transfer you back to sales. Yeah, I will. I'll transfer you so fast it'll make your head spin. I have the power of transfer!
Don't believe me? Neither did Colonel Chickenpox. And look at him now, the big lout. Mopping up the walls over at the blood bank every Saturday... yeah, I know! The walls! Sometimes, when they hit an artery, it just... sprays all over the place. So they bring the old colonel in to clean up. Just like he cleaned up in the Great War. Yes... okay, I'm writing the service number down. Okay, have you performed the necessary hat dance? No? Look, I can't ship a replacement part until you do the hat dance. Okay, but after this I refuse to make another exception. You'll just have to take it up with management. The hat dance is a time-honored tradition! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'm going to have to put you on hold. Buh-bye.
--The Taker of Gist | 10:02 AM
7 broke it down:
Superb customer service!
I'm a very considerate carpetbagging industrialist. Together, we can cure forest fires.
I still want to talk to your manager.
I put you on hold once, and I can do it again! Just watch me.
Your Gist-Cold Stunner failed to work!
"...manager yes I have a manager and his name is Jesus" ! "Let me tell you all about him-" CLICK BUZZ..."Hello , hello
? Hello ....?
Why have you not updated in over two weeks?! You leave me feeling betrayed and dismayed! Why are you doing this?!
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