Star Trek
Why does everyone think I'm a Star Trek character?! Seriously, it's starting to get old. I walked into the doctor's office the other day, to have him take a look at my mullet. Those things burrow into your brain sometimes, causing mulletitis. I have, like, three friends who were hospitalized for mulletitis last year. It's a vicious disease, ravaging your soul and all that. But before I could see the doctor, I had to put up with this idiotic receptionist. I was all, "I need to see the doctor. I don't want to hear another lame story about your kids." I normally wouldn't make such egregious demands, but the last time I was in that office the receptionist tried to sell me a timeshare by talking nonstop about her kids. I'm not sure of the stratagem applied there, but it must have been powerful.
That's when the doctor came out of his office. "Edmonde!" I yelled, for Edmonde is the only doctor my insurance will cover. Never mind that the two of us had a falling out after he wrapped me in toilet paper and mailed me to Saipan. I'm a big fan of practical jokes, but on my birthday? Even I never sank so low, and I've had both the opportunity and motive. What kind of life involves Saipan?! I mean, the people of Saipan are all right, don't get me wrong. But it's just not Guam. There's no utilities, no atmosphere, no meat in that burger. I'm not a scholar, but even I wouldn't put an extinct volcano next to an aquifer. Still, they're a whale of a tale better than Jon Stewart.
Yeah, I was listening to that little dog and pony show he calls a "fake newscast," and I heard what he said to that "guest" of his. Yeah, the crazy guy is always the one getting up on soap boxes and blaming Roosevelt for stealing his couch. Sure. Let me tell you, I knew that man. And Jon Stewart is totally lying- Roosevelt did steal that poor soul's couch, and he enjoyed stealing it. I remember it clearly... the year was 1933. That poor, poor couchless man. It brings a tear to my eye that Jon Stewart, a man whose name is clearly missing a consonant, would have the audacity to malign the reputation of Crazy Joe Mama.
That's when the doctor came out of his office. "Edmonde!" I yelled, for Edmonde is the only doctor my insurance will cover. Never mind that the two of us had a falling out after he wrapped me in toilet paper and mailed me to Saipan. I'm a big fan of practical jokes, but on my birthday? Even I never sank so low, and I've had both the opportunity and motive. What kind of life involves Saipan?! I mean, the people of Saipan are all right, don't get me wrong. But it's just not Guam. There's no utilities, no atmosphere, no meat in that burger. I'm not a scholar, but even I wouldn't put an extinct volcano next to an aquifer. Still, they're a whale of a tale better than Jon Stewart.
Yeah, I was listening to that little dog and pony show he calls a "fake newscast," and I heard what he said to that "guest" of his. Yeah, the crazy guy is always the one getting up on soap boxes and blaming Roosevelt for stealing his couch. Sure. Let me tell you, I knew that man. And Jon Stewart is totally lying- Roosevelt did steal that poor soul's couch, and he enjoyed stealing it. I remember it clearly... the year was 1933. That poor, poor couchless man. It brings a tear to my eye that Jon Stewart, a man whose name is clearly missing a consonant, would have the audacity to malign the reputation of Crazy Joe Mama.
--The Taker of Gist | 11:27 PM
3 broke it down:
We got a couch thief here too. But it's a bear.... probably the one Teddy Roosevelt was after.
Bravo!!!!! I swear...I'm rolling on the floor. You made me spit beer all over my LCD. Damn you!
Hey Capt. ever have butter tarts and Tim Horton's coffee ? Ya didn't think so ya poser ! Happy Canada Day anyways "Gang" .
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