Open Letter
Dearest Colleague,
Your intentions have been intuited, and I will under no circumstances refer to you as "Provost of Pork." Not only do you lack the required degrees to become the provost of any university, but the Department of Orwellian Agriculture has a court order preventing you from mentioning pork in any of your printed documents. I think we all know why, and the fact that you think you can subvert the will of the people pains me to no end. Have you no shame?
Furthermore, I humbly decline the stock options you offered me under duress. My sense of moral outrage forbids me from buying stock in companies that discriminate based on browser use. I mean, sure I have a huge problem with anyone who uses Internet Explorer. But I never actively screened them, put up some kind of script that would give them the eye wrinkles. Why do you have such a zealous hatred of non-Opera browsers? Firefox never choked a chicken, I can tell you that. But to imply that Internet Explorer is so inferior that its users will be cast into the fiery pits of Northern Kentucky is simply offensive. Sir, I admire your aspirations, but must decline your influence.
You have won many converts over the years on your message of Opera superiority, but the times are changing, my friend. Like sand through the fingers of a polar bear, so too are the new browser wars. You tried to rule by fear; history have proven this approach flawed at best. At worst, frosted. In the interest of international cooperation, I must insist that you cede control of the Ottawa Vice. May your shoes always be polished.
Punctually Incognizant,
The Taker of Gist, Third Class
Your intentions have been intuited, and I will under no circumstances refer to you as "Provost of Pork." Not only do you lack the required degrees to become the provost of any university, but the Department of Orwellian Agriculture has a court order preventing you from mentioning pork in any of your printed documents. I think we all know why, and the fact that you think you can subvert the will of the people pains me to no end. Have you no shame?
Furthermore, I humbly decline the stock options you offered me under duress. My sense of moral outrage forbids me from buying stock in companies that discriminate based on browser use. I mean, sure I have a huge problem with anyone who uses Internet Explorer. But I never actively screened them, put up some kind of script that would give them the eye wrinkles. Why do you have such a zealous hatred of non-Opera browsers? Firefox never choked a chicken, I can tell you that. But to imply that Internet Explorer is so inferior that its users will be cast into the fiery pits of Northern Kentucky is simply offensive. Sir, I admire your aspirations, but must decline your influence.
You have won many converts over the years on your message of Opera superiority, but the times are changing, my friend. Like sand through the fingers of a polar bear, so too are the new browser wars. You tried to rule by fear; history have proven this approach flawed at best. At worst, frosted. In the interest of international cooperation, I must insist that you cede control of the Ottawa Vice. May your shoes always be polished.
Punctually Incognizant,
The Taker of Gist, Third Class
--The Taker of Gist | 8:15 PM
4 broke it down:
Zone Alarm makes good Opera fire walls.
I miss the Pre-opera Netscape 4 days.
Those were the days of plenty, when you could clearly see the sun from behind the big "Hollywood" sign.
Today, there lies nothing beyond the pale.
Frosted fear flakes...a part of your nutritious breakfast.
Welcome back Gist . How was the camp'n trip ? Any good bear stories ?
For the record I never mention "pork" on my blog , unless I write about my wife !
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